The 12 Days of Christmas – A Cheesy Landing Page Optimization Lament

funny pictures of cats with captions

What do you want for Christmas? (Photo Credit: ICanHasCheezburger.com)

For the holiday season, I’ve taken a quick stab at re-writing that 12 Days of Christmas ditty. If Christmas ain’t really your thing, then hopefully the lolcat is enough to bring a smile to your face.

Remember to sing along. Preferably after a few egg nog’s or Christmas Ale’s. (It’ll be funnier).

On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • A typo in a CTA

On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • 2 dove turtles – needless to say they didn’t convert because large tortoise-like animals covered in moisturizing soap doesn’t make much sense to anyone.
  • and a typo in a CTA

On the 3rd days of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • 3 french pens – no matter how I move my wrist, these pens write in French. I don’t even speak french.
  • 2 dove turtles
  • and a typo in a CTA

On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • 4 appalling words – in my H1 tag. Sigh.
  • 3 french pens
  • 2 dove turtles
  • and a typo in a CTA

On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • Fiiiiiiiiiive gold PPC ads on Bing – (sounds like ring. Work with me here)
  • 4 appalling words
  • 3 french pens
  • 2 dove turtles
  • and a typo in a CTA

On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • 6 clients a-paying – sweeeet!
  • 5 goooooold ads on Bing
  • 4 appalling words
  • 3 french pens
  • 2 dove turtles
  • and a typo in a CTA

On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • 7 Accountants grinning – thanks to #6
  • 6 clients a-paying
  • 5 goooooold ads on Bing
  • 4 appalling words
  • 3 french pens
  • 2 dove turtles
  • and a typo in a CTA

On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • 8 affiliates a-milking – no surprise there
  • 7 accountants grinning
  • 6 clients a-paying
  • 5 goooooold ads on Bing
  • 4 appalling words
  • 3 french pens
  • 2 dove turtles
  • and a typo in a CTA

On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • 9 ladies dancing – I’m not going to change that for anyone, so let’s just say they’re dancing on your landing page wearing Santa hats.
  • 8 affiliates a-milking
  • 7 accountants grinning
  • 6 clients a-paying
  • 5 goooooold ads on Bing
  • 4 appalling words
  • 3 french pens
  • 2 dove turtles
  • and a typo in a CTA

On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • 10 conversions a-leaping
  • 9 ladies dancing
  • 8 affiliates a-milking
  • 7 accountants grinning
  • 6 clients a-paying
  • 5 goooooold ads on Bing
  • 4 appalling words
  • 3 french pens
  • 2 dove turtles
  • and a typo in a CTA

On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • 11 leads converting – woohooo, here’s to Lead Gen Forms!!!
  • 10 conversions a-leaping
  • 9 ladies dancing
  • 8 affiliates a-milking
  • 7 accountants grinning
  • 6 clients a-paying
  • 5 goooooold ads on Bing
  • 4 appalling words
  • 3 french pens
  • 2 dove turtles
  • and a typo in a CTA

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

  • 12 drummers drumming – to the beat of 12 hillbillies singing this beautiful song in a swamp while wearing Unbounce t-shirts!!!!!
  • 11 leads converting
  • 10 conversions a-leaping
  • 9 ladies dancing
  • 8 affiliates a-milking
  • 7 accountants grinning
  • 6 clients a-paying
  • 5 goooooold ads on Bing
  • 4 appalling words
  • 3 french pens
  • 2 dove turtles
  • and a typo in a CTA

Happy Holidays!!!

– Unbounce

About The Author

Photo of Oli Gardner

Oli is Co-Founder & Creative Director at Unbounce. He's seen more landing pages than anyone on the planet. You should follow Oli on Twitter
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Comments

  1. Carl Schmidt says:

    BWA HA HA HA. I wanna see you on YouTube belting this out…

  2. rick says:

    funny one Oli!

  3. Jane Howitt says:

    Excellent! Made me smile, even though I’m feeling sorry for myself with the flu. Just the tonic I needed :)