/ FunnyThe 12 Days of Christmas – A Cheesy Landing Page Optimization Lament By Oli Gardner on December 23rd, 2009 in FunnyTotal8 7 1 0Image via Shutterstock.For the holiday season, I’ve taken a quick stab at re-writing that 12 Days of Christmas ditty. If Christmas ain’t really your thing, then hopefully this Christmas cat is enough to bring a smile to your face.Remember to sing along. Preferably after a few egg nogs or Christmas Ales. (It’ll be funnier). On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me…A typo in a CTAOn the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me…2 dove turtles – needless to say they didn’t convert because large tortoise-like animals covered in moisturizing soap doesn’t make much sense to anyone.and a typo in a CTAOn the 3rd days of Christmas my true love gave to me…3 french pens – no matter how I move my wrist, these pens write in French. I don’t even speak french.2 dove turtlesand a typo in a CTAOn the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…4 appalling words – in my H1 tag. Sigh.3 french pens2 dove turtlesand a typo in a CTAOn the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…Fiiiiiiiiiive gold PPC ads on Bing – (sounds like ring. Work with me here)4 appalling words3 french pens2 dove turtlesand a typo in a CTAOn the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…6 clients a-paying – sweeeet!5 goooooold ads on Bing4 appalling words3 french pens2 dove turtlesand a typo in a CTAOn the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…7 Accountants grinning – thanks to #66 clients a-paying5 goooooold ads on Bing4 appalling words3 french pens2 dove turtlesand a typo in a CTAOn the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…8 affiliates a-milking – no surprise there7 accountants grinning6 clients a-paying5 goooooold ads on Bing4 appalling words3 french pens2 dove turtlesand a typo in a CTAOn the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…9 ladies dancing – I’m not going to change that for anyone, so let’s just say they’re dancing on your landing page wearing Santa hats.8 affiliates a-milking7 accountants grinning6 clients a-paying5 goooooold ads on Bing4 appalling words3 french pens2 dove turtlesand a typo in a CTAOn the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…10 conversions a-leaping9 ladies dancing8 affiliates a-milking7 accountants grinning6 clients a-paying5 goooooold ads on Bing4 appalling words3 french pens2 dove turtlesand a typo in a CTAOn the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…11 leads converting – woohooo, here’s to Lead Gen Forms!!!10 conversions a-leaping9 ladies dancing8 affiliates a-milking7 accountants grinning6 clients a-paying5 goooooold ads on Bing4 appalling words3 french pens2 dove turtlesand a typo in a CTAOn the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…12 drummers drumming – to the beat of 12 hillbillies singing this beautiful song in a swamp while wearing Unbounce t-shirts!!!!!11 leads converting10 conversions a-leaping9 ladies dancing8 affiliates a-milking7 accountants grinning6 clients a-paying5 goooooold ads on Bing4 appalling words3 french pens2 dove turtlesand a typo in a CTAHappy Holidays!!!— UnbounceAbout Oli Gardner Unbounce co-founder Oli Gardner has seen more landing pages than anyone on the planet. He’s obsessed with identifying and reversing bad marketing practices, and his disdain for marketers who send campaign traffic to their homepage is legendary, resulting in landing page rants that can peel paint off an unpainted wall. A prolific international keynote speaker, Oli is on a mission to rid the world of marketing mediocrity by using data-informed copywriting, design, interaction, and psychology to create a more delightful experience for marketers and customers alike. He was recently named the "The 2018 Marketer to Watch," in the under 46 category, by his mother.» More blog posts by Oli Gardner