Top 7 Reasons Why Chuck Norris Didn’t Invest in the Facebook IPO

By on May 25th, 2012 in Funny

What Does Chuck Norris Think About the Facebook IPO?

Well let’s find out. And please feel free to tweet these choice nuggets of wisdom… Otherwise you’ll be in trouble with Chuck #NotAGoodIdea

  1. Chuck doesn’t invest in anything except roundhouse kick lessons, which he teaches himself. » Tweet This «
  1. Chuck doesn’t “Like” anything. Okay, a roundhouse kick to Zuckerbergs face would be somewhat Likeable. » Tweet This «
  1. Shares in Chuck Norris are measured in badassery, not dollars. And he has muscles in his toe nails that are bigger than your biceps. #TrueStory. » Tweet This «
  1. If you suggest a share price to Chuck Norris, he’ll kick you in the face and tell the New York stock exchange to buy more Chuck stock and devalue Facebook. » Tweet This «
  1. If you unfriend Chuck Norris on Facebook he’ll just bitch slap you, take your money and invest in himself rather than Facebook. » Tweet This «
  1. When Facebook’s share price falls, Chuck could just pick it up again with his awesome fists. But why would he? » Tweet This «
  1. When Chuck was asked about the Facebook IPO, he said “I Poked Oli” … he’s now in a coma. » Tweet This «

If you liked these ones, you might like the 9 Reasons Chuck Norris Shouldn’t Work in Marketing too.

— Oli Gardner

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About Oli Gardner
Unbounce co-founder Oli Gardner has seen more landing pages than anyone on the planet. He’s obsessed with identifying and reversing bad marketing practices, and his disdain for marketers who send campaign traffic to their homepage is legendary, resulting in landing page rants that can peel paint off an unpainted wall. A prolific international keynote speaker, Oli is on a mission to rid the world of marketing mediocrity by using data-informed copywriting, design, interaction, and psychology to create a more delightful experience for marketers and customers alike. He was recently named the "The 2018 Marketer to Watch," in the under 46 category, by his mother.
» More blog posts by Oli Gardner